and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
