Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Randomize
