i don't like sucking hair
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
