69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
