So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
