And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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