I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
