what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
