Your face is a jimmy john
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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