she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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