I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
