Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
