ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
