I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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