The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
