she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
