So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
