he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
