I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
