are you still at the devil's house?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
