I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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