So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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