I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
