i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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