If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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