Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize
