I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
