Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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