You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
