Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
