her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
