and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
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