in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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