First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
