I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
wow bdsm is so cute
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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