IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Don't tell me you're on acid again
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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