My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
