It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
It was confusing and full of hummus
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I am naked and annoyed.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
