It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I've blown a few things in my day
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
