Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
