Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We're too hungover to prance.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
