why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You made out with two different species that night
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
