pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
