Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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