whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
