i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
