Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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