Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
