Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
