a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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